Message Received
Sometimes our messages get really garbled. We often think we have communicated effectively when someone says we said something entirely different from your meaning. There’s the old comic bit, “I know you think you understood what I said, but what I said was not what you understood.” or something like that.
One of the lessons in leadership is clarification. You need to make sure people understand not only your words but your meaning. One of my personality flaws is that I say something and move on, too bad if you misunderstand or didn’t get it. You gotta keep up. Sometimes I have been known to hurt people’s feelings because of this trait. So sometimes a simple question or statement, “What did you hear me say? or Repeat back to me what I said.” may be appropriate.
Understanding how to communicate with others and the way they receive communication is important. I recommend a great tool you can find on-line called leading from your strengths. This test is especially effective and cost effective for staff. Most often this has been helpful to me to know someone’s value to the team and weakness as a team member. The most important thing though is the section that helps you understand how to communicate with the person effectively. Me, I am very direct. Others like to process. Others need visuals. Others need facts. Others want to hear stories. Know how to communicate with people it will improve your leadership.
If you are having communication problems with a staff member make sure you write down when you have a conversation. Especially if the conversation is negative. Although it is good to recognize a positive conversation also. Capture the comments early so you remember fully. Let the other person know what you remember, you may give them a chance to return comments. But you do not do this to have a “I said, you said” argument. Note their comments, if you agree, agree but if you don’t let them know this is not your understanding of what happened but their complaints have been noted.
The other thing I need sometimes is a time out. If things get really heated before you say something that will hurt someone or have long term consequences you may want to take a time out and think over what you want to say. You may even want to have an outline and stick to the script just to make sure you don’t say something you’ll regret later.
What you say is important. Make sure in public or private conversation that your meaning is received and what you want to accomplish has been accomplished.
